i hide it, well enough, i think. others have told me that i am “cranky” lately. i tell them this is not the case (i honestly do not feel hypomanic…). internalized, it all builds up however, and these words become the pressure-release valve that prevents my boiler-brain from bursting.
the boiler though, subjected to constant cycling, is starting to deteriorate, metal-fatigue, stress-crack. i am afraid it is time to decide whether to:
a. overhaul this major assembly, closely following the (hopefully) non-destructive inspection procedures, and installing additional pressure-release valves to comply with emergency safety directives.
b. continue to operate the boiler to terminal failure.
3 comments:
I left a comment re: Bam's post
http://txandi.blogspot.com/2007/04/i-do-not-know.html
hey txandi, i'm here (we went away for a few days to the picture!) When my son was learning the alphabet, he could not get past "b." he would break down in tears, so frustrated with himself. mommy, what comes next? what comes next? his face all contorted. i was torn, should i tell him the "right" answer? Growing up, I was so terrified of failure, afraid to make even the smallest of mistakes. so i told my son: Say whatever letter you feel like saying. A lot of people like to say "c" after "b." But you can say whatever you want, okay? He looked so relieved.
We have options, even when we don't think we do. You can make up what letter comes next. it's okay. Hang in there, txandi. You'll get through. Trust in yourself.
Txandi - I hope things aren't too difficult for you. Keep working with the existing infrastructure.
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