abstinence, i do not practice: it happens;
it is not abstinence, as much as it is hunger.
interesting state, bearable, but gnawing, trying, yet unintended.
it is here, it is now. it chews and subdues.
i should eat. i have food. i would disturb, intrude.
i reflect in this cavitating stupor; i relax in this emptiness.
today i subsisted on 700 kilocalories, of which 279, i expended during my midday retreat.
i feel myself full of life, while on the verge of loosing consciousness.
i sense freedom of thought and movement.
i experience the pain of my brain under hypoglycemic stress.
i become aware of thresholds; i learn of artificial limits.
it feels good. why change what feels good?
i am warding off gluttony. i am virtuous.
deadly sin, gluttony, i vanquish thee.
i save myself, i redeem myself.
from what? irrelevant.
3 comments:
its a question of "live to eat or eat to live?
but now your post makes me think, why eat at all?
muses, know no bounds..
"i feel myself full of life, while on the verge of loosing consciousness." Splendid thought. How is such a state possible; and if indeed it is, how special would that be!
A scary but riveting read.
some call it the zone. it could be viewed as a church, a place to enlighten self, or enlightenment itself.
~t~
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