revelation

"days go; a year as well," i found myself musing barefoot by a bonfire holding a flute brimming with ace. warmth unseasonal, enveloped. warmth of heart, dissolved. "you know about my mother, mi madre, ¿si?" she, the one who birthed me, nurtured me, loved me...loved me...loved me...

i saw her. she saw me. she tested my wits. she tried my nerves.
she has been told. she does not acknowledge. it is too late for her because she wants it to be so.

it is not late for me. i prevailed. i was not drawn into her maelstrøm.
i thought of her as a person with an illness. i treated her as a person with an illness.

"why should i question what you say, mother?" "why should i express an opinion if i know it will antagonize you, mother?" "why should i trouble myself understanding your frame of reference, mother?" i cannot, simply cannot.

a choice made. a decision rewarded. my sanity over hers.