1.05.2008

virtually on the verge of vomiting

virtually on the verge of vomiting, i push myself yet again, DJ's Sisma and Vekta driving me hard atop the range of the sliding decibel control, spinning their seduction, averting hallucination, inducing hallucination--for how else can i still be on this endlessly-moving carpet of vulcanized rubber passing under my beaten you-know-whats, at an indicated 8 miles-per-hour.


this, after having subjected myself to implements of torture painted an airy, aseptic white, corners coronated by stainless steel to prevent the corrosion-inducing sweat and tears shed during these BDSM sessions, while tied to ligatures of 1/4 inch 7 x 19 MIL-DTL-83420M cables terminated by 10-pound chunks of recycled slag, shaped ingot-like, potential energy tortuously converted to kinetic--energy is neither destroyed nor created (or is it mass?--although i feel as if my mass has been destroyed, mutilated...)


stop i do not. i keep control, avert nausea, meet and greet Limit, my old camarada, who like i has changed, become more inscrutable, prone to abrupt shifts in presence, mind, disposition.


"adios, tia. me voy, dejo tu abu-grhahib, tu house of pain, tu facility of torture, tu medieval dungeon, el discretely-mail-ordered-from-back-page-advert-in-almanac-format-photo-journal-of-alternative-sexually-arousing-practices-implement-of-pleasure-equipped suburban basement you habitate; i am in desperate need of a carbohydrate bolus."


as i make my way up the stairs, i turn, look down, weakly smile. i know, Limit knows, i will return. and i so wish she has her friend Enlightenment over for an as-as-always-too-brief visit.




virtva llyin the verg aknabac firnate ogiti hiyrbak if akterbauve

12.26.2007

death do us part

cast thine shadows away,
in dutiful sorrow I mourn.
night of darkness pray,
fateful morrow be born.

sordid jealousy shimmer,
simmering hate burn marrow.
predator eyes, hunt aglimmer,
my scorn'd countenance sallow.

despondent, satisfy hunger.
enraged, i find contentment.
tearful blood flows in anger,
dawn alighting lamentment.

this deathly horror i've lived,
shorn all hope to redeem.
once with your love bestowed,
now death, certain and keen.

12.21.2007

sound words

word without sound,
my happiness fills.
sound without words,
silence that kills.

askance mood, depart.
release this sorrow.
depart, mood askance.
exile by morrow.

blessing my tears.
purpureus blood, bleed.
tears, my blessing.
spirit be freed.

anguished serenity

and if i said, would you believe me?
so, why should I say? just believe me.

in pain i lay, calling your name.
in pain i laid. you called my name.

was it mordant anguish? uncaring prying?
for anguished i was, trying and crying.

12.17.2007

hurting to want, wanting to hurt

beholden, these eyes blinded by sugar,
descubren al fin, siniestro pasar.
bitter-filled sound, lover's laughter afar,
olas que rompen las sombras del mar.


porcelain body, in sodden touch mar,
sentencias mi ser, eterno pesar.
immaculate fire, cauterize scar,
mi virtud, verdugo, voy a vengar.