we all know, but we shall not give a crap. it is the way. it has worked before, and it will work now: we shall tell all, but ignore as well.
it has worked. it will work now…who the blast cares? do you think it is pity i seek? you have to be wrong; i hope you are wrong. pity? how about giving a crap? pathetic. i do not. nor should you, for that is not it, in the least.
¡¡¡¡¡ for piss’ sake, abre los putos ojos, coño!!!!! ¡¡¡¡qué parida, hostia!!!! ¡¡¡piensa!!! ¡¡la verdad, es lo que es!! ¡ignorancia no es la solución, hostia!
pero, si a ti no te importa, a mí tampoco. la ignorancia es reciproca. y si no te gusta esta situación, apáñatelas como quieras, porque ya me las apaño yo. y si os creéis que esto es sobre algo específico, que ignorantes sois.
you do not care; i wonder if you even care about appearances, you just do not care.
gatorade it is not. gatorade you could care less if it was or not.
sympathy. sympathy. you could care less. you could not care less. you could not understand any less. you could not ignore any less. if quiet i would have remained, quiet would you have stayed? ignorant, you would have remained.
it is acceptable to have problems it is acceptable to ignore, even if it will not go away, even if it will just linger.
hey everybody has problems, why shouldn't you?
5.28.2007
5.20.2007
v1.0 filaments of keratin
one
happily, consciousness loosing.
externally, mind buzzing.
distantly, sound, retreating.
deeply, brainwaves affecting.
gently, tugging beginning.
fleetingly, weight retreating.
physically, down rolling.
soundlessly, slough falling.
regretfully, prattle encouraging.
unpleasantly, words flowing.
quietly, silence wishing.
unfortunately, you denying.
forcefully, time joining.
passively, peace demanding.
mechanically, you, performing,
biologically, i, needing.
two
respite.
a day in perspective.
brain waves—alpha,
on the rise, theta.
again you attempt to deny,
gregariousness, misplaced, i decry.
the stupor, the drone, the purple-blue lights.
lights that burn, disinfect, and detect if you lie.
stops abrupt, as a word you put,
i return, not of want but, of choice that you took.
three
finally i must
happily, consciousness loosing.
externally, mind buzzing.
distantly, sound, retreating.
deeply, brainwaves affecting.
gently, tugging beginning.
fleetingly, weight retreating.
physically, down rolling.
soundlessly, slough falling.
regretfully, prattle encouraging.
unpleasantly, words flowing.
quietly, silence wishing.
unfortunately, you denying.
forcefully, time joining.
passively, peace demanding.
mechanically, you, performing,
biologically, i, needing.
two
respite.
a day in perspective.
brain waves—alpha,
on the rise, theta.
again you attempt to deny,
gregariousness, misplaced, i decry.
the stupor, the drone, the purple-blue lights.
lights that burn, disinfect, and detect if you lie.
stops abrupt, as a word you put,
i return, not of want but, of choice that you took.
three
finally i must
depart all this dust
the unlikely sounds
that relaxed my frown
to the point that my smile
misunderstood for a while
made you no longer shy
and my feelings die
like Buddha i was
like Buddha i was
enlightenment my task
like iron i wrought
trouble all that it brought
v2.0 like, hair, you know?
"…so, like, you know, Mrs.-stylist-or-whatever, I pay you to do my hair, and not, like, to bore me." so, like, I did not, like, really tell her, as-if! but she, like, kept going on and on, like she could not stop, like she had taken an oral laxative or something? And, like, my day to-ta-lly sucked, and all, and all I want to do is, like, relax, and like have her do me? …oh-my-gosh, did I, like, just say that? Do me? Eeewww! No, no, no…she is "doing my "do," doing my "do!"" oh-my-gosh: gross! Whatever…
So, like, my eyes, like, close, and it feels like I'm totally floating or something, and the hair just, like, falls, and all, and its weird 'cos, like, I feel it falling, and, like, I'm thinking, like, "if I was standing on one of those scale thingies, would I, like, weigh less, or something?" Whatever…
Anywho, she just keeps going on and on and, like, keeps totally talking my ear off, like when you call my cell, and, like, we talk, but, like, that is, like, totally different, and I swear, I'm, like, oh-my-gosh, like, "you don't get the clue?" "Hel-lo-o-o; is there anyone, like, in there?"
So, like, the tanning-booth-fan-thingies, or whatever, the ones that keep you cool and all, but you, like, sweat like the football team practicing, like, they are sooo to-ta-lly hot anyway, but, like, they are to-ta-lly gross later...anywho...and don't the lights, like, burn you with..."you-be," "ultera-v," "ulter-vio"...whatever, and, like, don't they, like, kill cooties or something, and, like, my nerd brother says they, like, show your drool on your pillow, and, like, totally—eeewww—stuff, like, oh-my-gosh, so-gross...
Well, like, they turn the fan-thingies off, 'cos some chick is, like, done, and, I swear, I'm relaxing, 'cos the noise they make is, like, dreamy, or something, so, like, I'm, like, "this is tooo much," and fi-na-lly, I'm, like, done, but a total bitch, 'cos I could not snooze and all… and, I'm, like, 'if she just shut-UP"...what-ever...
So, like, my eyes, like, close, and it feels like I'm totally floating or something, and the hair just, like, falls, and all, and its weird 'cos, like, I feel it falling, and, like, I'm thinking, like, "if I was standing on one of those scale thingies, would I, like, weigh less, or something?" Whatever…
Anywho, she just keeps going on and on and, like, keeps totally talking my ear off, like when you call my cell, and, like, we talk, but, like, that is, like, totally different, and I swear, I'm, like, oh-my-gosh, like, "you don't get the clue?" "Hel-lo-o-o; is there anyone, like, in there?"
So, like, the tanning-booth-fan-thingies, or whatever, the ones that keep you cool and all, but you, like, sweat like the football team practicing, like, they are sooo to-ta-lly hot anyway, but, like, they are to-ta-lly gross later...anywho...and don't the lights, like, burn you with..."you-be," "ultera-v," "ulter-vio"...whatever, and, like, don't they, like, kill cooties or something, and, like, my nerd brother says they, like, show your drool on your pillow, and, like, totally—eeewww—stuff, like, oh-my-gosh, so-gross...
Well, like, they turn the fan-thingies off, 'cos some chick is, like, done, and, I swear, I'm relaxing, 'cos the noise they make is, like, dreamy, or something, so, like, I'm, like, "this is tooo much," and fi-na-lly, I'm, like, done, but a total bitch, 'cos I could not snooze and all… and, I'm, like, 'if she just shut-UP"...what-ever...
5.15.2007
Lithium
occasionally, i post lyrics on the possibility that songs, artists, unknown, may soothe...
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
I can't hold on to me,Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go. Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium,...stay in love with my sorrow.I'm gonna let it go.
Evanescence
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
I can't hold on to me,Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go. Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium,...stay in love with my sorrow.I'm gonna let it go.
Evanescence
5.13.2007
i live in the place you live
i hide it, well enough, i think. others have told me that i am “cranky” lately. i tell them this is not the case (i honestly do not feel hypomanic…). internalized, it all builds up however, and these words become the pressure-release valve that prevents my boiler-brain from bursting.
the boiler though, subjected to constant cycling, is starting to deteriorate, metal-fatigue, stress-crack. i am afraid it is time to decide whether to:
a. overhaul this major assembly, closely following the (hopefully) non-destructive inspection procedures, and installing additional pressure-release valves to comply with emergency safety directives.
b. continue to operate the boiler to terminal failure.
the boiler though, subjected to constant cycling, is starting to deteriorate, metal-fatigue, stress-crack. i am afraid it is time to decide whether to:
a. overhaul this major assembly, closely following the (hopefully) non-destructive inspection procedures, and installing additional pressure-release valves to comply with emergency safety directives.
b. continue to operate the boiler to terminal failure.
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